• Name: *|MMERGE5|*
• Candybar: *|MMERGE6|*
• Score: *|MMERGE9|* (leader is at *|MMERGE11|*)
• How many chimps are at or above your score: *|MMERGE8|*
• Rank: *|MMERGE10|*/850
• Your Bracket: Click here

Aaaaaand We're Back

For the rookies, and those that don't remember what I told you last year:
What I do is send out email updates (personalized just for your entry!) several times during the course of the tournament. I go on and on and on over seemingly meaningless minutia. It might seem meaningless but...well okay, it's meaningless. But we'll have fun, or your money back.**

You will be competing against 849 other humans and 1,001 chimps* for the coveted title of JQMCBP Champion and the accompanying candy bar prize. The top 10 humans and top 10 chimps will be listed in each email update, but you can check the leaderboard at any time to see where you stand. Powered by the Meister's NearRealTimeScoring™ system, the leaderboard is updated within minutes of each game finishing. Or sometimes hours. It really depends on when I click the buttons. Seriously, that's how it works.

In addition to the emails and the leaderboard, there's lots of important, vital resources available with your web browser. Setup a filter with all your friends and enemies to track your own "pool within the pool". Evaluate how risky your picks are with the J Factor, see who picked brackets like yours with the Scientific Similarity Index. As the tournament progresses, figure out who has no chance of winning at the Hall of Shame! Generate pointless head-to-head graphs! Every one of my emails will contain these linky links at the bottom of the email.

As I've done for the past decade plus, I'm sending emails through the appropriately named MailChimp mass email service. This is Lucky the Chimp's favorite email service, and because it actually sends emails that people tend to receive. However, MailChimp will not allow me to send multiple emails to the same email address. So, if you signed up several brackets on one email address, you only be getting one personalized email for each entry. How about we call this a "feature" and call an end to the tech talk.

Last thing: if you like the JQMCBP please remember to smash that Velociraptor! button.

* and 1,001 chimps. This number has been remarkably steady.

** Refund applications need to be filed in triplicate and mailed to the Johnny Quest Memorial Candy Bar Pool Customer Service Department, care of its Parent Corporation, Slaptronics Personal Massage Therapy and Self Help Video Distribution Corporation of Netherland Antilles (nasdaq:SPMTSHVDCNA). Or you could contact your congressperson, which will give you a similar outcome.

But enough of my yakkin'. Let's boogie!

In Memoriam

Where We Mourn the Loss of Often Bizarro Mascots

Bucky Badger Couldn't dig out of this one d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Overzealous pushups	Vili YIKES! d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Face Paint Sickness
Scrappy Who gives a hoot d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Not scrappy enough, apparently	Cosmo What is that, a shawl? Get a better costume buddy d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Caffeine withdrawal
T-Roy A real wooden performance d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Accidentally left inside wooden horse	Rowdy Ironically, not rowdy enough d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Chaps too tight
Gideon Not Gideon's first mention; still disturbing d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Smoted by an underdog	Joe Vandal Caught red-handed d. March 20, 2026 Cause: bad beard, bad teeth
The Quaker Who's creepily smilin' now? d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Acute pacifism	Brutus Buckeye Cracked under pressure d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Acute encephalitis
Thundar More like Blundar, amirite d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Kevin Costner	Howard Bison Buffal-oh no d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Also Kevin Costner
Rocky Full of bull d. March 20, 2026 Cause: China shop accident. Police said "best left unsolved"	Rameses Headbutting no more d. March 20, 2026 Cause: Over-sheared
Uga Bad dog! Bad dog! d. March 20, 2026 Cause: The zoomies	Saint Bernie Lost: one brandy barrel d. March 20, 2026 Cause: brandy?

Whose champion bit it?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it never sucks worse than when the team you picked to win it all loses it all. It's even worse when I publish it for all to read!

Only 14 champion picks gone after day 1. Sorry Jacob, it's just not North Dakota State's year.

So long suckers!

Boo Rah Rah

I asked you if your alma mater was in the tournament. Why? So I could make fun of you when they lose!

72 of you lost your alma mater on the first day, including a full host of Badgers (me included). Shout out to Tom 🏤 Wadzinski for the only player that entered with an emoji, and one of two players that literally broke my database with their special ❄️ character needs. The other was Shawn "Black Thunder (ブラックサンダー)" McCullers. Well done, both of you.

Oh no Saint Mary's! The whole Benson clan wiped out in one day!

Candy Bar of the Day

Where I give out fake awards for my favorite candy selections

The Desperate For Candy Much?™ Award goes to honorary niece Violette "need gummy clusters" Simon. Alrighty Violette, I get it, you want candy. But you don't need to be so rude about it. You could have said "gummy clusters please and thank you" and it would have been better received. Instead..."need gummy clusters". No candy for you!

Enough with the crap, who's ahead?

Top 10 Humans

A TEN way tie in 1st place is your top 10!

Top 10 Chimps

cheers,
the Meister

Linky links:

• The Leaderboard for checking out who is ahead
• What's Your J? will tell you how risky your picks were
• SSS Want to see who picked brackets similar to yours? You do??? srsly why.
• Prognosticationland for looking at some brackets
• Hall of Shame will tell you who is out of the race for candy completely