• Name: *|MMERGE5|*
• Candybar: *|MMERGE6|*
• Score: *|MMERGE9|* (leader is at *|MMERGE11|*)
• How many chimps are at or above your score: *|MMERGE8|*
• Rank: *|MMERGE10|*/858
• Your Bracket: Click here

Administrivia

Just a note to say that The Meister will do his level best to update things from Spain and Portugal over the next two weekends. I've updated JQMCBP from Hawaii before, so administering a candy bar pool from awkward timezones while on vacation is not without precedent, but this will be...challenging. If you don't see scores update in a timely fashion, that probably means it's because it's in the middle of the night in Lisbon. If you don't see the scores update for days...I dunno...power outage in Minneapolis took the server offline? Anyway, if you need immediate assistance you can contact customer support at jniyo@aol.com.

This does, however, probably mean I won't be running the incredibly unpopular Unweighted Chances of Winning (UCOW™) analysis as I typically do at this stage. Literally zeroes of people have been emailing me about this, and to all of those people, which is to say none of those people, I am filled with my deepest ragrets.

Second Round Wrap-up

All hail DEANNE "King Size Snickers" BUSTA! Deanne held on to at least a share of the lead for the entire stretch of Saturday and Sunday games, emerging with 58, a 2 point lead on the field. There's a lot of JQMCBP left, and Deanne likely will need Alabama to go all the way to secur chocolate-covered peanuts, caramel, and the secret to the Snickers bar: nougat. Joe "Ghirardelli Caramel Milk Chocolate Squares" Hebda sits alone in 2nd place at 56, followed by a pack at 55.

Upsets...who picked 'em

Highlighting those brave souls that chose oddball longshots to win games

This year is still notably absent of massive upsets, but we had a minor one in Arkansas over St. John's in a battle of two historically corrupt coaches in John Calipari and Rick Pitino (google them for some nice bedtime reading). 58 of you (about 6.7%) went with 10-seed Arkansas, and here you all are:

Whose champion bit it?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it never sucks worse than when the team you picked to win it all loses it all. It's even worse when I publish it for all to read!

While there haven't been any massive upsets, 130 of you are without your prognosticated champion. I have it on good authority that C. "Three Musketeers" Stiddy used ChatGPT to help her pick UConn as her champ. Concrete proof that AI can successfully look up the 2024 champion, no matter what quality of team they are this year. It's amazing, the computer. Everything is computer now.

So long suckers!

Boo Rah Rah

I asked you if your alma mater was in the tournament. Why? So I could make fun of you when they lose!

133 of you lost your alma mater. Technically I lost two, since I have degrees from both Wisconsin and Iowa State. I also have 1 credit from University of Missouri (lost, 1st round), a couple quarters of graduate credits from UC-Santa Barbara (not in the tournament this year), and was the starting center for The Evergreen State College (real school, really was the starting center, but is not affiliated at any level with the NCAA). So anyway.

Candy Bar of the Day

Where I give out fake awards for my favorite candy selections

The Part of a Healhty Balanced Meal Award will be split between Robert "Gummy Kraft Mac & Cheese"* Strnad and Jim "Oscar Meyer Gummy Bacon"** Chryssikos. Throw in some Gummy Scrambled Eggs™ and some Gummy Sourdough Toast™ with Gummy Butter™ and Gummy Jelly™ and you have yourself an All-American Gummy Breakfast™.

* ew
** also ew ***
*** okay we looked them up and BOTH of these atrocities are "fruit flavored." I think that might be worse?****
**** yeah it's worse.

it ain't right	it ain't right

Losing Mascots: Let's Talk About Them!

Pointless Discussion about Losing Teams and Their Mascots

	Cy, The Iowa State University of Science and Technology Cyclone, er, Cardinal Dead Behind the Eyes: 2 Looks Like the Thing It's Trying To Be: 0 for Cyclone, 4.5 for Cardinal Terrifying to Meet: 3 Is Wearing Fred Hoiberg's Jersey: 32 Birds don't have teeth! They'd be doing fine if not for that. I grew up in this town, and can't let go of the One True Cy, the one that looked like a Cardinal-Chicken hybrid. Well, not that one either, but 1950s Cy wins for Dead Behind the Eyes. Yes, that one. The chicken one.
	Bucky, University of Wisconsin-Madison Dead Behind the Eyes: 0, full of life Looks Like the Thing It's Trying To Be: 10, that is a badger, mos def Terrifying to Meet: 0, badgers just want to cuddle and be loved Just the BEST: 10 As you all know, I am a straight shooter, respected on both sides. I just want to say, from the unbiased neutral point of view I always take, that Bucky rules and all other mascots drool.
	Sammy, the St Mary's University Gael Dead Behind the Eyes: 5 Looks Like the Thing It's Trying To Be: ?? #whatsagaellooklikeanyway Terrifying to Meet: 7 Total Beefcake: 8 Bro, do you work out?
	Puddles, the University of Oregon Duck Dead Behind the Eyes: 2 Looks Like the Thing It's Trying To Be: Yeah that's a duck Terrifying to Meet: 2 Total Beefcake: 11 Oregon: It's amazing to have a state whose two universities are represented by a duck, University of Oregon, and a beaver, Oregon State. It's gotta be the best two 1-2 state combo after The Universithy of Vermont Catamounts and Vermont State Warm Carafe of Maple Syrups.

Enough with the crap, who's ahead?

Top 10 Humans

Top 10 Chimps

cheers,
the Meister

Linky links:

• The Leaderboard for checking out who is ahead
• What's Your J? will tell you how risky your picks were
• SSS Want to see who picked brackets similar to yours? You do??? srsly why.
• Prognosticationland for looking at some brackets
• Hall of Shame will tell you who is out of the race for candy completely