• Name: *|MMERGE5|*
• Candybar: *|MMERGE6|*
• Score: *|MMERGE9|* (leader is at *|MMERGE11|*)
• How many chimps are at or above your score: *|MMERGE8|*
• Rank: *|MMERGE10|*/850
• Your Bracket: Click here

Short and Sweet

We're heading out to march in the No Kings thing today, because that's what Minnesotans do. Going to be a quick update for that reason. Even if you're "not a protest person," consider it today.

Will be wearing this as a cape. Srsly. #mnstrong

UCOW™

UCOW™ has been updated! There are now 47 people (and 0 chimps, sorry Chimp Army, you're out of it this year) still alive in the Quest for Candy™. Leading that group is Ashley E. Hammerbacher, who has 12 different permutations in which she emerges victorious. Right behind her is Dr. Becky Burton which, if she wins, would mark two straight years of wins for that household taking home the prize (last year it was Blue Howler, the cat). Go have a look at the UCOW™ Elite Eight table to see if you are one of the lucky 47.

Again for emphasis➡️ UCOW™! ⬅️

μCow, the Official Moo-Cow of UCOW™

Mascots, Remembered in Brief

To the tune of a soulful Sarah McLachlan song:

Cy 😢

Big Red

Tusk

Bevo

Big Al

Shasta

Sparty

Johnny Thunderbird

Whose champion bit it?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it never sucks worse than when the team you picked to win it all loses it all. It's even worse when I publish it for all to read!

Here's the list:

147 of us lost our champion, including current pole sitter Ryan "Cookies and Cream Hershey" Schraa.

There are enough Cyclone fans every year in JQMCBP that it's a really poor decision strategically to pick them to go all the way. Even if they were to do so, you still would not have a strong chance of winning because of all the ISU homers out there. Nevertheless, I went for it this year, because I really did think they had a chance at it. Like every Minnesota Twins season of the last 35 years, disappointment followed.

So long suckers!

Boo Rah Rah

I asked you if your alma mater was in the tournament. Why? So I could make fun of you when they lose!

Here's the list:

108 JQMCBPers lost their alma mater (109 if you count me; I went there but claim 1st round exit Wisconsin, where I also went. I also have 1 college credit from Missouri (srsly) so I lost thrice this year.).

I was today year's old when I found out the front man for Public Enemy went to St. John's.

Candy Bar of the Day

Where I give out fake awards for my favorite candy selections

Nisha "Total Blackout' 100% dark chocolate alter eco" Labroo wins the Okay, I'll Bite (or won't bite, amirite?). With No Added Sugar Isn't This Just a Bar of Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate? award. I mean, I like dark chocolate, but my face is puckering up just thinking of eating this one.

Enough with the crap, who's ahead?

Top 10 Humans

Ryan "Cookies and Cream Hershey" Schraa is on top, but with Houston as their champ, all 👀 on Ashley E. "Reese's" Hammerbacher as we roll into the weeken. Hammerbacher's success hinges on Illinois wins.

Top 10 Chimps

Do you have less than 52 points? That's the current bar for a Darwin score of 0. All below are shamed by tying/losing to at least one chimp.

cheers,
the Meister

Linky links:

• The Leaderboard for checking out who is ahead
• What's Your J?™ will tell you how risky your picks were
• SSS™ Want to see who picked brackets similar to yours? You do??? srsly why.
• Prognosticationland™ for looking at some brackets
• Hall of Shame™ will tell you who is out of the race for candy completely
• UCOW™ will tell you EVEN BETTER who is out of the race for candy completely