• Name: *|MMERGE5|*
• Candybar: *|MMERGE6|*
• Score: *|MMERGE9|* (leader is at *|MMERGE11|*)
• How many chimps are at or above your score: *|MMERGE8|*
• Rank: *|MMERGE10|*/850
• Your Bracket: Click here

Let's Cut to the Chase: Who's Still In It?

• Derek "Taza Mexican Dark Chocolate" Roesti
• David "Snickers" Needham
• Chris "Cadbury Carmelo" Boese
• BETHANY "Krembanan" the Chimp

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BETHANY

Though NC State, an 11 seed, has made the Final Four, this year has leaned more towards favored teams winning than the last several. A less random tournament, one would think, would elinate the random-bracket-picking Chimp Army. One would think WRONGLY. BETHANY the Chimp, against all odds, has picked the entire Final Four. The chances of a random 64-team bracket selecting all four Final Four teams is 1 in 65536. Even with 1,001 chimps in the mix, the chances of that happening are still 1 in 655, or "expect this to happen once every 655.5 years". THIS YEAR IS THAT YEAR. BETHANY's champ is Alabama, and if the Crimson Tide should defy the odds and take home the championship, so will BETHANY and the entire JQMCBP Chimp Nation. BETHANY, you're a queen! ROLL TIDE!

Amongst the humans, the frontrunner remains Derek "Taza Mexican Dark Chocolate" Roesti. If Duke had won over the weekend (narrator: they did not!), Derek would have achieved the feat only BETHANY did. As it stands though, Derek will bring home the Taza with either a UConn or NC State championship.

Also in the mix: David "Snickers" Needham, who takes home that peanutty nougat delight if Purdue wins the tourney, and Chris "Cadbury Carmelo" Boese, who wins (in a tie with Roesti) with a UConn win over Purdue in the final.

Everyone else? ELIMINATED!

Upsets...who picked 'em

Highlighting those brave souls that chose oddball longshots to win games

Only 47 humans (including me!) and BETHANY the Chimp had Alabama this far, while just 10 humans and BETHANY the Chimp had NC State.

Whose champion bit it?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it never sucks worse than when the team you picked to win it all loses it all. It's even worse when I publish it for all to read!

Beyond the 61 more people that lost their champion, of note: not a single person picked Clemson!

So long suckers!

Boo Rah Rah

I asked you if your alma mater was in the tournament. Why? So I could make fun of you when they lose!

Not even RainesOfTerror, the lone Clemson alum, believed in Clemson. Sad!

Sorry not sorry Jeb and Kurt gonna call you a waaaaambulance.

Candy Bar of the Day

Where I give out fake awards for my favorite candy selections

The Disgusting but Unlimited Quantity Candy Award goes to 1998 JQMCBP champion and person of questionable taste Patrick "All the Black Jelly Beans" O'Boyle. Wow, ALL of them?! What will you do with them? Do you have an evil plan? You're going to drop them on an unsuspecting village, aren't you Patrick? AREN'T YOU?

Enough with the crap, who's ahead?

Top 10 Humans

Top 10 Chimps

cheers,
the Meister

Linky links:

• The Leaderboard for checking out who is ahead
• What's Your J? will tell you how risky your picks were
• SSS Want to see who picked brackets similar to yours? You do??? srsly why.
• Prognosticationland for looking at some brackets
• Hall of Shame will tell you who is out of the race for candy completely